In Search of The Wild Pastrami

(Inspired by my son, Gavin, age eleven, during a family meal at Milton’s Deli and Restaurant, Del Mar, CA)

I had a hot Pastrami sandwich,

just the other day,

And realized I have never seen,

the animal at bay.

I've seen a cow, and pig, and duck

and chicken, lamb, and deer,

But, I've never, ever, sort of seen,

a Pastrami coming near.

I searched a barnyard, high and low,

looking for my prey.

But the farmer said, "You'll find none here,

so take your search another way."

Is it hoofed or toed, or webbed?

I didn't have a clue,

So to the woods I went to search,

'twas little else to do.

I climbed in trees and burrow holes,

but, Pastrami, there was none.

No tracks or droppings from the beast,

my search had just begun.

To the races, next I went,

like thoroughbred and greyhound.

A galloping Pastrami sought,

but, no win, place or show was found.

Do they run like grunion?

Are they fishes in the sea?

Are their scales cleaned-off before

Pastrami's served with tea?

I doubt it, have to search some more,

maybe down in far Australia.

Is my quarry marsupial,

with pouches, eggs and genitalia?

The Pastrami, could it be endangered?

So hard to find, yet many

Are found on every menu page.

I doubt we're short of any.

I think it may live in the Alps,

in northern Italy,

And perch upon the icy slopes,

and keep well hid, so wittily.

So off I went and skied and climbed,

through avalanche and blizzard.

Yet, no Pastrami did I find,

I'll sooner find a wizard.

Just like the mystic unicorn,

this wily creature may not be,

But, no, I've downed too many bites,

my belly can't be tricking me.

If I find him, what I need the most,

is low-cal hot Pastrami,

A skinny, bony animal,

a bit like a Salami.

Oh, no, another beast to find!

The wily quick Salami!

Where is he, near, or far away?

He lives, I'm sure, with the Pastrami.

September 13, 1995